More Fun with Sex.com

• Home
• Articles
• Seminars
• Dear Sexpert
• Private Sessions
• Contact
• About

• Featured Articles:
• Sex in the City
• Talking Dirty
• Modern Romance
• Art of Oral Sex
• Addicted to Love

Modern Romance

Because cyber dating can be daunting, not everyone succumbs to the keyboard. Some folks prefer speed dating, singles parties or other options. Still others choose the more traditional matchmaking services such as It’s Just Lunch, a ubiquitous service with locations from South Florida and Toronto to Singapore and the Dominican Republic. Unlike Internet dating sites – where clients must fend for themselves – It’s Just Lunch interviews and screens its applicants and then promises a number of lunch dates over a year’s time (if the date’s lousy, at least you get a good meal). Clients claim to appreciate the organization’s discretion (no photos exchanged beforehand) and personalized service (members are interviewed extensively).

The major difference between Internet dating and using a service like It’s Just Lunch, says Senior Vice President Nancy Kirsch, is that her organization removes the fear of the unknown. “With Internet dating or personal ads, there can be a lot of misrepresentation. You can put someone else’s picture up! If we call and say we have a date for you and that she has blond hair—unless she’s dyed it right before your date—she is going to have blond hair!” Kirsch reports that her service is responsible for thousands of marriages and that more than half of It’s Just Lunch clients opt for that all-important second date. “We can’t control chemistry,” she says. “But with us, who you are expecting is who is going to show up for that date.”

Still, for some, cyber-dating is worth the risk. “It can be wonderful because the options are limitless,” says Lori Sarvis, a licensed sex therapist and couples counselor in Deerfield Beach. “Though it also can be addicting,” she warns. “I have clients who will go out 50 times in a month because they can and then become completely exhausted. And when they’re not dating, they’re online trolling for more dates. It’s really easy to end up in this hypnotic state, where you log on and before you know it, it’s three o’clock in the morning.”

Cyber dating runs in cycles. “When people start, they date up a storm,” Sarvis says. “Then, after a while, they’ll complain about seeing the same faces over and over and become frustrated. When it gets to the point where they’re exhausted, frustrated or bitter, I encourage them to take a hiatus.”

Indeed, even the most successful online daters take a break now and then. “I only log on once a week because I start recognizing the same faces,” says Jessica, who describes her online dating experience as a positive one sprinkled with a few disappointments. “Once everyone looks familiar, I take a breather for a month or two and then return.”

Mark admits to taking the occasional breather—but he always returns to the computer. He says that slothfulness is what lures him back. “If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d join a group or a club and do things with people I have things in common with,” he says. “But how else can you stay home undressed and write to 10 potential dates? It’s just too easy.”

* Some names in this article were changed to protect privacy.

Lori Sarvis works at The Professional Counseling Center, 2151 W. Hillsboro Blvd., Suite 204, in Deerfield Beach. For more information, call (954) 426-0410.