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ORAL OCTOBER

October is for oral sex. Use your tongue, lips and chin to creat the most wonderful sensations for your partner. Its like a party in your mouth.
ENJOY!

Dear Sexpert, I do not know if this is strange, but I am a 32 yr old male that enjoys sex, but I have a difficult time with changing sexual positions during sex for fear I may lose my erection.  This has happened in the past several times, and now I feel it will happen again.  Up until now it has not been a problem with women.  Now, I have been in a 4 month relationship and my girlfriend is very open sexually.  She wants to have sex in all positions and I am finding every excuse to avoid this.  She feels its her and she is getting more frustrated and hurt.  I am not sure how to explain this to her because I am not sure myself whats going on and I have not been able to find any material that discusses this issue. Please help me.  Weird in Wyoming

Dear Weird, This is not as uncommon as you think and you are right that there is not a lot of reading material on the subject.  The answer is simple---anxiety!  You may be a worrier by nature and it has showed up in the bedroom.  You may also not feel comfortable sexually as a lover and this has lead to anxiety about your partners movements as well as your own in so far as positions are concerned.  Most of the time this occurs when there has been a loss of erections when you switched positions. You then start to avoid switching positions and if you have been with partners that are not concerned about this, you get yourself in a place that may make it hard to eventually change when a new partner wants to experiment more.

If your girlfriend is someone you want to be with for awhile, I recommend you speak to her about this. If she cares, she will want to work this out with you.  This will also help you decrease the stress by telling her whats going on and alleviate any fears she has that it has been her that is causing the problem.

I would then focus on ways to decrease the stress surrounding this issue.The next time you have sex, do not have intercourse--put her in a position where you can finger her or lick her (all fours) and bring her to orgasm that way.  She then can give you a blow job in a position that may be new for you. Do this for several weeks with no intercourse.  On the third week, have intecourse but start from a different position than the one you are used to (all fours as an example).  Finger her,lick her and then screw her. Focus on her pleasure, the look of her ass, parts of her body.  Use all your senses to be in the moment, let go and just feel how good it is.  Let nature take its course and feel free.

Good luck and Good sex

Lori

 

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